Saint Ben |
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Man .
. . is a thinking reed.
Blaise Pascal
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I was sitting in a Baptist
church in Florida. It was a splendid day in March. The
sun bounced off the gleaming white pillars and the crisp
white shirts of the well-dressed congregation. It was the
first Sunday for a new pastor and his family of five.
Everyone was smiling except for one person: the new
pastor's youngest son. He didn't smile from the platform
when they introduced his family. He wasn't smiling in the
picture in the bulletin either. In fact, his face was all
twisted up in a scowl. I looked at this kid who refused
to play, and suddenly it appeared to me that he was the
hope of this church. I knew, right then and there, that
there was a story in that face, and I found that story in
the name of a guy named Ben.
from
Chapter 4
There. I had asked
just about everything I could think of except for
his rewrite of the last line. Since he wasn't
answering right away, I decided to finish what I
started.
"And why did
you change the words to the last line?"
Ben was quiet for a
long time. In that silence, still staring up
through branches into tiny patches of blue sky, I
was wondering if I had said too much.
"I don't
believe it," Ben finally spoke.
"Believe
what?"
"I don't
believe that Jesus loves me. Show me where the
Bible says 'Jesus loves you... Ben.' I can't find
it anywhere. The song should really be 'Jesus
loves us.' Now that would make sense. Too many
people sing 'Jesus loves me' and they don't
really mean it or they don't even know what it
means. I'm not going to say anything I don't
mean, especially with God standing around
listening. That's why I changed the last line.
The Bible doesn't tell me 'Jesus loves Ben,' and
until I can tell myself that, I'm not going to
sing about something that I can't believe is
true."
"But didn't He
die on the cross because He loves everybody?
Isn't that the point--I mean--aren't you and I in
there someplace?"
"Yeah, but
that's everybody. He died for everybody. But I'm
not everybody. I'm Ben Beamering. I get lost
being a tiny part of everybody." |
for whom
Who doesn't love a good story? I hear the Kleenex come
out at the end of this one. I know I cried writing it.
Don't let the cover fool you. This is a story from a
kid's perspective, but as Luci Shaw says, it's not
"juvenile fiction." It's actually written in an
adult voice remembering childhood.
endorsements
"A charming and affecting novel with enormous depths
and reaches. John Fischer writes with great skill about a
place and a time and a people that millions of us love.
This same love guides his eye past appearances to the
truth; a truth he renders with absolute fidelity both to
the lived-experience and God's creative action. He is a
seer."
Harold Fickett
Author of Holy Fool
"What
at first appears to be a slender story of boyhood bonding
between Ben and Jonathan soon explodes like a skyrocket
with luminous insights into God's fierce longing for His
children, into the comfort and challenge of friendship,
and into the dismantling of denominational prejudice. The
multi-talented Fischer's debut as a novelist is
auspicious indeed."
Brennan Manning
Author of The Ragamuffin Gospel
"By
some magic of the fictive imagination, John Fischer has
gotten inside the skin of a preadolescent boy and written
this deft, perceptive novel from that probing
perspective. This is not, however, juvenile fiction. Ben,
the youthful protagonist, is a non-conformist--a
preacher's kid with his own creative agenda, the kind of
individualist in a conservative context with whom many of
us will identify. His life is given, literally, to the
search for the ultimate. Fischer's writing resonates with
the novelist's truest gifts--inevitability and
surprise."
Luci Shaw
Author of God in the Dark and Horizons
"Absolutely
loved Saint Ben . . . was moved to tears several
times. (Fischer's) characters are beautifully
constructed, the anecdotes real, and the honoring of each
person's soul-search-for-integrity brilliant . . .
comparable in impact but more emotionally powerful than
John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany . . . a
well-paced, continually engaging and captivating piece of
business."
Noel Paul Stookey
quotes
from reviews
"John Fischer has created a cast of lovable
characters, a plot that twists and turns, and poignant
commentary on legalistic Christianity in his first novel,
Saint Ben. This is a fresh, heartwarming story
about childhood and the honest attempt to fill the
"God-shaped vacuum" that exists in every human
heart."
Moody Monthly, October 1993.
"With
a generous dose of humor, Fischer weaves a captivating
tale of what might happen should a boy actually do and
say what so many believers have always wanted to but
didn't dare. Saint Ben will leave you laughing,
choking back the tears, and best of all, thirsting for
the real faith of a nine year-old. Fischer's style, wit
and wisdom are a welcome addition to Christian fiction, a
genre too often caught wallowing in anything but
reality."
Servant, (a publication of Prairie Bible
Institute) January 1994.
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