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What? Me Worry?
© by John Fischer for CCM Magazine, April, 2000 issue.
“It’s about your kids, Marty!” yells Doc Brown over the roar of his DeLorean time machine at the end of the first episode of Back to the Future. “We’ve got to do something about your kids!”

Well, from an ad I heard recently on Christian radio, something is being done about the kids. Christian music and Christian radio are doing it by providing a safe place for music, free from the blaring assault of unchecked rock and rap on commercial radio. The ad ran something like: “Music you don’t have to worry about your kids listening to.”

Couple that with another ad that ran on the same station claiming good music makes good people, which makes good citizens, which makes a better America, and you have new moral and social grounds for the existence of Christian music. Words like clean, safe and wholesome come to mind.

As popular culture grows more blatantly decadent, we undoubtedly will see this new justification for Christian music becoming more and more commonplace—music, not as a message-bearer to the world as much as a safe haven from it. This rationale represents a trend much wider than just music. In the last few years we have been experiencing a general exodus of Christians from the world’s culture and institutions to a safer alternative Christian culture sporting its own growing market and infrastructure.

I’ve been speaking regularly in Christian colleges across the country for more than 20 years, and I’ve noticed this trend manifested in the attitudes and habits of current students. It was not even five years ago that Christian colleges were struggling for new admissions. Not so now. Children who have been educated through the popular Christian and home school boom of the ’80s and ’90s are now reaching college age. It stands to reason that parents who have used the Christian school to protect their kids from the world would look to the Christian college as their last bastion of defense. As a result, Christian colleges have never enjoyed such success. Many have to turn away qualified students because of tapped space and resources. Every college I’ve visited in the last two years has an expansion building project going on, already funded, or close to it. Other institutions, that 10 years ago were on their last breath, are now thriving.

Many of the students I meet in these colleges listen to nothing but Christian music. These are the same kids that struggle with the required, college-level reading and the social and scientific theories they have to study in order to gain a liberal arts degree. Their former schools steered clear of controversial literature and modern theories due to the questionable content, language and unbiblical philosophies they contain. And yet even Christian colleges realize a transition to the wider world is imminent, and these cultural realities must be faced while the support of a Christian environment can guide the de-construction and reconstruction of faith that is necessary for personal ownership.

I consistently find the students of these colleges to be far more conservative in their cultural views than their teachers. Faculty members tell me they worry greatly over their students’ ability to carry a zealous, but untested faith into the larger, unforgiving culture. Would that there were a Christian world these students could graduate into, but there is not.

Maybe we should worry. I do. I worry about my kids and what they listen to, and what they see, and what they do. I worry because I can’t do anything about it. In reality even a Christian college can’t keep the world at bay. Every one of these colleges has its share of cynics and rebels, who, for all we know, might be using all their cynical energy to fight for the faith were they out in a non-Christian environment.

Ultimately, there’s only one thing that can keep me, and any Christian parent, from worrying about our kids. It’s the presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives, not a Christian radio station or a Christian college. Not that there aren’t good reasons for both. Just not this one.

In other words, there is reason to question the appeal of: “music you don’t have to worry about….” I worry that “not to worry” could be dangerous. Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing to worry about the music, if by worrying we mean to be aware of it and not just absorb it—to think about it, evaluate it, learn to understand its deeper messages and the philosophies of life out of which it speaks, and make conscious choices in relationship to it. (And, by the way, who’s to say Christian music is necessarily culturally and theologically worry-free?)

Children who have been protected from the world will sooner or later be defenseless in it. Those who have been grappling with the world and its ideas and developing a discriminating eye and ear may have a better chance of not only making it in the world with their faith whole, but of understanding that world, and having something to offer it once they get there.

“Music you don’t have to worry about your kids listening to?” I don’t know. I think I’d worry about that even more.


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Today's date: Friday, September 10, 2010
Catherine Giesbrecht Friday, March 23, 2001
Hopewell, NJ, 08525
Overall, I agree with you, John. It takes work to parent a child who is continually exposed to the world through the secular school systems. It's work to talk things through with your children, listen to their views -- especially when they are beyond your comfort zone -- and try to shape your children without forcing your faith down their throat. I have a daughter in high school now -- there are daily challenges, but I wouldn't have her anywhere else because it is against this backdrop that I can most effectively witness to her about Christ.

As an aside, putting children in a Christian school in order to "protect" them from the world isn't a guarantee anyway -- some of the worst hellions I've ever met were in Christian schools.

That said, there is a time and place for the kind of haven provided by Christian schools, and I'd hate to see it go away entirely. Middle-school years, in particular, are incredibly tough on the children who aren't at or near the top of the social pecking order -- physical and mental abuse of weaker students is rampant and the public school administration can't always catch it or do anything about it. In those cases, when your child is clearly floundering in the public schools, Christian schools (which generally are more structured and better monitored) can be exactly the place to be. I know this from experience with a step-child -- he spent his middle-school years in a Christian school for that reason, and then returned to public high school when he was stronger and able to handle the social scene.

I think I digress a bit, though. Your article was really directed at the overwhelming trend to insulate our children within the faith -- and I agree with you that that is dangerous ground indeed.

Peace,
Catherine Giesbrecht

John Fischer Responds
There is a way to do it right and a way to do it wrong where Christian schools are concerned. And there are those for whom it is a good idea.

Jay Allen Sunday, February 18, 2001
Fitchburg, WI, USA
John,

My wife and I find ourselves in an interesting position. We are Christians, in our mid-30s, and have no children. We are thinking about it now. The idea of being a parent is not a comforting one to me. But we look at the world through a somewhat different pair of lenses. From our position we see parents differently. We watch their behavior and wonder how we would respond in the same position.

We have noticed a number of parents who want to raise their kids in the worry-free world you refer to. It, however, doesn't exist. They send their kids to Christian schools or home school so they don't have to worry about what their kids are taught. In my community we have at least a dozen Christian schools and some of them teach heresy. Should parents not worry?

It seems to me (from my many years of being a non-parent), that one of the parts of being a parent is to be intimately involved in the education of your child. One of the reasons we have no children yet is that we are not sure we can make this commitment. But we watch others who are not willing to make that commitment who have children. It seems that many Christians want to have children but they do not want to be Parents. We have decided that if we have children they will go to private schools, but not to be sheltered. The primary reason is the quality of education when contrasted with the government schools. But I can assure you that a religious school will not be our choice, either. If we have children, I want them to be exposed to the world. How would they be able to make choices if the choices are removed? I want them to know what Marilyn Manson sings about. How would they be able to refute the message if they did not hear it?

I look at myself for an example. When I first heard about Jehovah's Witnesses, I was 17 years old. I immediately found as many copies of the Watchtower magazine as I could and read them vociferously. I read as much about them as I could find. I learned what they believe and why. Now, when they come to visit, I invite them in and I can discuss, intelligently, why their belief system is flawed and how their historical roots cast a cloud over the credibility of the founders. Some have been receptive and some have not, but I think this is better than just sending them away with some pamphlet from my church. It is stunning to me how many Christians I meet who don't even know the basics of JW theology.

So to translate that to a child, I want a child to be exposed to every theory science has to offer. I want them to also know how to prove that God exists despite all theories. If we possess the truth, why do we need to be afraid of lies? I think it is best to learn the truth thoroughly, but also to learn the lie and know why it is a lie. The sheltering technique makes no sense to me. So I say, get your kids out and expose them to what the world is. But go out with them so you can show them the difference between the truth and a lie. Be Parents, not just adults living in the house with them. Shepherd them along the way. And pray for them. And while you are at it, pray for me so I will make the commitment to follow my own advice if we have children.

Jay Allen
Appliance Pros

John Fischer Responds
Daniel and his three friends (who ended up in the furnace) bear this out. Check out Daniel 1:17 - To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning... (and vs.20) In every matter of wisdon and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom." In other words, they didn't just know about God, they knew about everything there was to know in their culture at the time.

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